Christmas Day

Was pretty awesome. Christmas isn't just about the presents, it's about bringing people together to combine one big heart and happiness and love. Christmas is the best holiday ever in every year. I love seeing the whole families coming down to Fresno surprising us, laughing, seeing them smile, hugging, oh so joyful feeling I can feel towards them, but why am I the one that's not feeling that joy? I understand how people feel when they're spending Christmas alone and I'm here should feel happy that I'm spending my times with the whole entire families, I still laugh, smile, communicate with the cousins and the families, but I'm NOT feeling any joyness in my heart. Nothing at all . . . after all I've been through, I started and ended feeling nothing at all. How can't you NOT see how hurt I am now...