Terrific 2010!

So I'm here in my room on New Years day. Exciting isn't it? 2010 already and people are making their lives like a whole new beginning. As for me, I'm not really feeling the joy or hyphy-ness whatever you can name it. As for today, parents are being paranoid about me saying this and that to me. Almost the same thing everyday, and you know it really piss the shit out of me? It's called I'm being annoyed! I use to say things to my parents and all these shit. But some I cannot, because since I'm getting older and almost close to the point where I'm going to enter the real world of adult hood. I need someone that past my age and life. And need a person that I want to talk to that's closer to my age. That's why I decide to talk to my cousins. Now we're communicated, I feel pretty close to them and comfortable telling them things. They don't insult or threaten me when it comes to "I need your opinions" instead of them telling me things that I have to do their way. All I want is to live my life peacefully without people bitching and complaining shit to me. I may began to hate 2010 already? But whatever, if it gets worse. It's just gonna make me wanna get out of this house immediately after high school. I know I can`t support myself that well, but I'm willing to go to work everyday after school. I may put my life in a difficult place, but the folks are making it even harder for me. Always reminding me, I know parents love to remind their child about whats in their mind. But child always have their own thoughts and opinion on what they have learned throughout their past life. Us young kids wants to tell our parents how we feel and what do we have in mind. Parents wants us to remember all the things they've said to us, but do they ever listen and remember what we always have to say to them? Are they just being selfish that they want us to remember their words but not remember ours? So basically is our thoughts and feelings are wrong?

December 26, 2009

I'm speechless, sick, confused, and heart broken at this moment. Boyfriend doesn't believe. Many people told me that I was already before but it was a false alarm, but this time is actually real. Just received a letter that was sent to my friends place. I'm weirding out right now, stressing, and trying NOT to stress a lot or else it will be gone. If he leaves, I'll be heart broken but I may handle this myself independently without anyone's help. It's December 27, 2009 2:41 am. I can't sleep, nothing at all. It hurts me so bad how he does not believe me at this point where I'm really serious.