Can Never Understand Each Other

I just hate how guys get with you and act like they really do care about you in the beginning of the relationship. After months had past, they start acting like it's whatever. Which makes you feel like no one isn't listening except for the one that's listening to your jib jabber. Pretending that he's listening. I'm just afraid to go to college and living with him will be a stressful life. If he's abusing me emotionally from long distance. There might be a chance that it can turn out to be abusing me physically. How would you know ? He thinks living together is gonna be perfect with nothing in front of us. It isn't what's in front of us, it's what do you have that is in front of you that's stressing her ass out to succeed in life so she can make her and his future better. Make everyone happy including both of our families. I'm scared while I'm in college with all these stressful things that's coming out from him. Might effect my education and make me wanna give up on my life and future. Which make me a failure. Life is too short, and it's almost time for me to get out of high school and head into University of Pacific Stockton. I'm planning things ahead. I can't promise myself that it will happen for real, but I can guarantee myself that I'll try to make that happen. Maybe not all, but at least to the point where I can have a wonderful life with my new family that I will build. That's about myself, but now about the one that I really love and cannot regret for being with him. He makes me happy mostly, but basically a lot of things always happen for a reason. I'm angry because I'm scared, the point is he doesn't want to listen nor understand my words and feelings. Does my feelings means more than what you're thinking right now is I'm the dumbest person you've met or the dumbest person who has the dumbest thoughts. Or the person that's struggling through her life and is multitasking by doing her homework, studying, and worry about her boyfriend a lot more than what's in front of her, which is school? Whenever this happen to both of us, I feel like I should die right now instead of staying here suffocating from your words that hurts me emotionally. One thing he doesn't know that is effecting even worse. I have no control of this infection anymore. The infection controls me now. I have my needs too, and you shouldn't be hurting me like this all the time. I want you to change, and I feel I'm being left behind alone while you're walking away from me. Is this how you want to treat me to the end? I wish we can just live and love each other peacefully with understanding, honesty & faith without hurting one another.

I hope you're reading this and understand.

-Fin

-ViviBroken.